I was watching someone do a backbend, high on stilts.
The long pieces of wood were attached to a house that was damaged by a flood
and I remembered that it used to be hard to do a backbend,
but now I am as flexible as I was before,
and I am able to bend that way,
the way I need to balance on the precipice of this precarious platform.
What are we doing to ourselves?
I realized I can bend with the other person.
The two of us can hold hands.
We are flexible and we can communicate.
We agreed to work together.
Perhaps she can help me sail through this very rough period to get through this exhausting flood without getting wet.
Still, I’m feeling insecure.
I’m feeling someone else’s anger focused on me.
Am I feeling violated?
How am I reacting?
I see an image of bottle caps popping off bottles, and then wood pops through the hole of the glass to make a stilt for my house.
I’ve been drinking to numb out the discomfort. Caps are popping off bottles of beer, but I am not drinking, I am adapting.
Drinking is how I have been filling up the emptiness, to cloud my feelings of anger. What do I really what I need to do? Can I really build up resistance to the flood? Am I preparing for the high tides by removing the cover-up, and creating stilts so I can survive above the feelings of pain and anger.
Removing the substance is key. Adapting, also important.
How are we going to really weather the effects of the tragedy though? Can we get at the root cause of the flood, the root cause of the pain, the flood of emotion we feel when we uncover the caps we hold over our hurt, and the actual floods we feel from our present lifestyle?
If I was sleeping and dreaming in California, Central, South America or Sub-Sahara African would I be dreaming of droughts instead of too much water?
How are we going to survive? Have we been drinking ourselves blind? Inhaling the smoke which has been given to us to cover up the fear we feel?
Stilts may allow us to float above the rising tides, but what are we really capable of doing?
Can we bend in a direction that actually heals our disaster?
Can we find each other’s hands and unite, to bring back our dignity?
We are so fragile. You and I. We hold so much love and joy and yet we haven’t been able to communicate. We haven’t been able to bond. We’ve only been able to side step passed, what we see.
I’m willing to try. I’m willing to open my heart and uncover the pain, to express the injustice. I know that puts you in an awkward position, but you may also hurt.
I’m asking you to come with me. I am asking you to face with me and see, what we are.
We have purpose.